Consider this a script for a video that I want to do one day. I, however, do not have a camera, nor the appropriate software (and experience with said software) to do it the way I want at the moment.
It would start like this:
The music begins (I’m not sure what it would be just yet) and fade into grainy, black and white footage of the young book blogger. He/she is at the end of a really long book. The book is slammed close. The blogger has a look of disgust on his/her face.
They throw the book down, and pick up the laptop. From over his/her shoulder we can see the mean, angry, and thoughtless comments they are writing in their review of the book. Just when they go to hit “post” or “publish” (or whatever), they pause. They look pensive. Cut to shot of author reading bad review, which might look something like this this video from author Lauren DeStefano (talking about GoodReads):
Then there are shots of Twitter outrage from fans of the author/genre/blogger and all Hell breaks loose. People talk about it for days. Angry comments are left. Angry vlogs are recorded. Images of these outcomes dance through the blogger’s mind (and across your screen). Blogger hesitates. He/she opens a new tab on the browser and calls up my blog (it’s my video) and consults the handy little list of suggestions that I am about to share with you on how to give a bad review. The list looks something like this:
1. Say something nice.
Compliment the cover. Praise the font choice. Thank them for the page count – but do it nicely. Always try to start with something good, and try to keep the snark a bit subdued. It can be hard. I know. Believe me. (Cut to example of mean, snarky review)
2. Be fair.
Admit that you aren’t the target audience. Tell people that you are not an expert. Let people know there are other opinions, and link to a few if you can find them. (Cut to example of a review that isn’t fair…some WSJ articles come to mind).
3. Focus on the book.
Odds are you don’t know the author. If you do, then you probably shouldn’t be reviewing the book. Don’t make your review a book a personal attack on the person who wrote it. The review should focus on the book and what was right/wrong about it. Don’t let your review turn into a rant about the issues being addressed in the book. The book, the issue, and the author are all separate entities. The book is the only thing being reviewed. (Cut to another example of what not to do. I can think of a few recent examples.)
The video would then cut back to young blogger, who has now realized that what they have written may not be what they really wanted to say. He/she deletes the post, then starts on something new – and they start with something nice.
Fin.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how to write a negative review. If you have another rule that should make the list, then please put it in the comments below.
Oh, and should anyone feel the need to make a video of this – for some odd reason – then please share it with me! I’d love to see it!
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